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Saturday, October 3, 2015

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How to Live your Dreams Now.

Living your dreams now.

 But however simply stated it was, it just illuminated me.  He realized that if he wanted to be a writer, he should write. That's it.

Sometimes in life we see ourselves wanting to be someone yet we don't know how to be that person.  We feel powerless, frustrated thinking that it's just another dream, just another desire, a wonderful thing that comes and goes just like the morning.  But just like the morning it always goes back. It shows up and we either wallow in frustration or we take it, embrace it, and be one with it; be in the moment with it.

I've been wanting to do something for quite a long time now but I always go back to square one.  Somehow I don't know how to get there.  But in my journey on finding some answers, I came across Paolo Coehlo's interview with Oprah.  There he told his journey of becoming a magnificent writer.  He said he'd always wanted to be a writer, and so whenever he was asked what he does, he would always say, a writer.   But however simply stated it was, it just illuminated me.  He realized that if he wanted to be a writer, he should write.  That's it.  He should start somewhere and start now.  No wonder gurus have been telling us to start today, no matter how unprepared we are, we need to start now.   Start small, start awful, start well.  It doesn't matter how we start it, the important thing is to start it NOW.

And so here I am, writing.  from what started as a paragraph full of sentences filled with I ams.  Here I am writing spontaneously.  I'm not bragging that I'm great, in fact I know I'm not, though I can't say that I am bad either.  But at least I can say that I write, whenever people ask me what I do for fun.  I'm not yet there but I'm happy I wasn't where I was before.

You see once you start, you'd see hope that your dream would in time be a reality.  I'd take that than settle for nothing.
Publisher: Shy - Saturday, October 03, 2015

Friday, September 25, 2015

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Why I Try to Question the Ring.


This week I bought myself a ring.  It's just a simple silver ring, slender on the rim with a small heart as a design.  My first intention was since I gave up my other ring to my grandma - who found it laying randomly in the house and has continued wearing it ever since then - I thought of getting myself another one to adorn my bare hands.  It's a nice piece to see, A great distraction from my dried hands and chipped nail polish.

Once purchased, I slipped it on my right ring finger and was satisfied by it for awhile.  And then I've thought that wouldn't it be nice if it would be on the left hand and the ring would have a solitaire diamond as opposed to the heart shaped "sterling silver", which can stay silver, thanks to the life time polishing service that I can avail at any branch nationwide.

So going back, it got me thinking, am I really buying this because unconsciously I want to get married?  And that started the landslides of scenarios and even more questions.  Then I noticed that my stress level had gone higher.  So I had to stop overthinking it and see it as it is, which is a silver ring with a heart: a nice piece of accessory.  Nothing more nothing less.
Publisher: Shy - Friday, September 25, 2015

Monday, September 21, 2015

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3 Reasons Why We Talk Ourselves Out of our Dreams?

Source. Talking your way out of dreams.  

Remember the time when you have enough money for your dream destination but have always forego booking it because you're too afraid to loose your hard earned money and next thing you know the promo seat is gone and the price became almost twice higher? Then you kick yourself for not booking it earlier, but then after awhile you console yourself that maybe God is telling you that it is not yet the time for it, until you forgot this dream and you end up using the money for something else.

Now let's try to analyze this, because if not then we'll probably be postponing too many dreams by talking ourselves out of fulfilling it.  The question is why though?  You know that you want it but when push comes to shove, we chicken out.

Failing to Pay the Price

Logic says that we have fail to pay the price of the dream.  We have become attached to our money that loosing it would be far more worse than loosing the dream.  Anyways, we are not really loosing our dream, we are just postponing it and that's different.  So we're faced with loosing money or postponing a dream, so we end up choosing the former.

Rationalizing It

Second reason could be is since we are not comfortable about loosing the money we then become critical and nit pick the intention of our dreams.  Is it really what we want? Do we need it?  Can we live without it? And most likely, our answer would be a big chunky NO.  So we let go and we settle for something that's less expensive.  Not quite want we want but still give us the variety and prestige but in a smaller scale.

Questioning our Own Worthiness

The third thing that we see that's stopping us is that we don't see ourselves worthy of our dreams.  We see contentment in our present situation and would somehow say that "it's not really me."  or "it's not worth it.".

This kind of introspection although seems unhealthy could be the opposite.  Sometimes our dreams aren't really ours.  We just copy it from others because it became part of our definition of success.  so we really have to define what success is for ourselves and search deep within our core the things that we really need and want, truthfully and genuinely.  And when you have come to know it, I'm sure there's no nitpicking that would happen, because you are at peace with it and when you are you grab every opportunity that leads you to it.

Publisher: Shy - Monday, September 21, 2015

Monday, September 14, 2015

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Why I Still Want to Travel to do Soul Searching Even After I Swear I Wouldn't


I have eaten my words, yet again. 

 Here's the beauty of it.  Life is full of contrasts. People like opposite things, and it just depends upon the time or situation in which thing prevails.   I'll give you a context of that last post.  I was set to do soul searching in Hongkong at the same time explore the place.  I think given that situation, I had set myself out to fail.  I didn't have time to think about myself thus no time for soul searching. 

Apart from that I have dipped my finger into some meditation practices in the hopes that I would finally grab hold of my emotions.  All though in retrospect it did help me get in touch with myself more, which was well and good.

There are just some times that being stuck in the same place just takes you back to your old beaten path, your old way of thinking and seeing things.  Moving to places and getting stimulated in all possible ways just gives you a different light, thus different road to self discovery.  

It takes a different shift to help you get out of the cage.  And maybe that's why traveling works for me.  It may not give me the answers that I'm hoping for but it would give me the energy and inspiration to work into my dreams and pursue it.

And I think that's not bad at all.  

Publisher: Shy - Monday, September 14, 2015

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

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The Hard Truth about Practicing Self Love

Self Love

Here's one thing that I'm struggling with and I'm still learning about --- how to see my worth.  A lot of it starts with recognizing that I have to love myself self first.  As I have gotten older and have acquired some experiences whether with friends, family members or with an intimate partner, I get more and more convinced that self love is important.  Not the selfish kind, but the kind that protects me by setting up a healthy border - a standard.  Before doing that I have realized that in order for me to protect myself, I need to see first my own worth and if I am worth protecting for.  And it's sad that at times since I don't see myself now as the woman that I want to be, doing what I wanted to be, in short I haven't reached my destination yet, it makes it hard for me to guard myself.  I would allow people to step on to me because I deserve it, and because I haven't achieved anything much yet.

Finding the Good Within

So in order for me to respect myself I need to continuously do something right and valuable, and/or acknowledge that I am in essence precious, holy and sacred, irregardless of whether I have achieved my dreams or not, or whether I have achievements to back it.  That I am, by form, special, biologically, spiritually, I am unique and there isn't anyone like me.  And in me, are values and principles to uphold that would somehow lead me to what I need to be doing.  In the process, I have to be in alignment in my words and deeds as much as possible.  To stay true to my gut, feelings and intuition, and with all that, hoping to arrive to my destination.

The Work that Needs to Be Put In

And in protecting myself, I have to have the discipline of not falling back to the usual and the keenness to call out what needs to be called out.  If I want to build a situation that I want, I need to create it myself, and that takes work.  I have to have the courage to try something else and the adventure to try it out for fun.  Not to be tight and over think things.  If I want it, I have to work on getting it and that's how simple it should be but somehow I stop myself because of the what ifs and of the people that I'll leave behind once I take on the journey.  But then I have to remind myself that I have to take this journey alone if I want to go somewhere.

No wonder it's vital that before starting anything, I have to have a strong spiritual backbone and principles to get this going because the in the end of the day, the one that would left with the burden  would be me.

Becoming Strong in the Journey

No wonder why an ambitious woman is a strong woman, so she can give up what is good to be open for something better.  Not settling for the mediocre but for the one where truth and passion lies.  And I have to just go through these thoughts once more for these to really sink in and cement in me.
Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Thursday, September 3, 2015

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Stepping Back on the Pain


It's my second time in Baguio, and something happened which made me realize another valuable lesson---  People will act the way they know how and feel.  They will act the way they've always been acting.  The lesson that I'm reminded of now is to never take it personally. If you have a problem with them, you take it as it is, and deal with it as rightly as you can and move on.  If nothing happens figure out something that will.

You Cannot Escape Pain

Of course along the way, you'll feel a tinge of pain.  You get hurt for getting offended by some high-strung reaction from people close to you.  Shortly, there's this boiling of urge that tries to protect you and the border that you've set out for your self, and so you become defensive because you have been attacked, or so you thought you were.  Your border had been intruded by a high tone voice, a smirk and a cold face.  Every signal that forms a face of your enemy.   All of this happens fast and by default.   Only when you acknowledge the truth that in some cases, not all of that reaction is because of you.  Their bucket is full of stuff; that they had from previous months, days, and you with your small mistake, just gave them more stuff that made well enough to reach the tipping point until, bang, they burst out.  It takes maturity to step back and think about this.  Whether or not, you can do that, you cannot escape pain.

Finding the Beauty

Pain is just another life's ingredient which I don't think anyone can get rid of no matter how convincing some self help guru tells you you can.  What I think these gurus can truly help you with though is to limit it.   But never eradicate pain because no matter how much we refuse it, it is part of life and it's what makes it beautiful and interesting.

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, September 03, 2015

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

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Why I Stopped Traveling to Do Soul-Searching.

Introspection.  Reflection: Pic Source 

"We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in.  When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes."

I couldn't count the times that I've attempted to find my purpose through travels and every
time I've come home to one, I would bring home the usual:  a few souvenirs, a number of really cool stories, and hundreds of pictures.  And also as usual, I come home with no clear conviction of the purpose.  The whole trip although it was fun, didn't really give me the answer which I was seeking for in the first place.  Why?

Why it Failed.

During my first solo trip in HK, I filled my itinerary with places to go, things to buy, activities to do, thinking that being in a different place would highlight my own difference, seeing myself freshly and genuinely in the light of other people.  I believed that me being genuine, comfortable in my own skin, and being different would help me understand myself more.  I would see clearly the unique in me as seen by others, believing also that by knowing myself more and being happy with it, my purpose would somehow arise.  All those were true though, except that "my purpose" didn't pop up as I hoped it would.  No light bulbs happened.

And by being in different place made stillness and introspection for long hours of time seem impractical.  I mean, there I was in Baguio or HK, places I have never been to.  Every time I steady myself and start to meditate, there's a nagging thought that yells at me saying that "there's just so much to explore in this place, what the hell are you doing?"  or the "you spent all money and time for that? might as well do that in your own room."  And dawning on the fact, I get anxious and go back to my places-to-go list.

So there, I learned it that way, but I must say that each experience is different.  My soul searching just happened to flop when traveling because really come to think of it the answer really lies within us.  We go on in life always busy looking out and yet failing to look in.  When we spend time with ourselves with our thoughts and energy, we dig deep, we recognize where our heart truly goes.

Take Away 

I learned that our aspirations and dreams are shadows of the needs and wants that we want in life.  There are shallow needs, the ones that we really don't need but we have come to want for the ego.  And there are deeper needs of love, belonging, fulfillment which we get by pursuing that of which our spirit truly desires.  It's up for us to recognize where our dreams fall under, and to make sure that we always go for the ones that fall under the latter

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Thursday, July 9, 2015

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Being Grateful as a Key to Staying Positive

ftb.  Thank you.

 "Our will, which makes us higher than other animals, takes energy to apply.  It is a conscious act that needs effort to stop what comes natural so we can direct our actions and reactions to that which is more civilized, accepted and aspired." 

Just recently, whenever I find myself feeding on self-defeating thoughts, and basking in negativity, I would ask myself the question: "what should I be grateful for?" and from there, I would immediately feel a release, relaxed from feeling the tension and constriction caused by my dwelling on the bad emotions.   That single question is a negative sucker and an instant-feel good pill.

Asking the Right Questions

Although I've read about this concept and I know that it to be true, I couldn't apply it easily because when I'm in a trying situation, the reaction happens in an instant, sometimes I catch myself, and in bad times, I can't.  There's really a small demarcation between these opposite energies, but it is possible to shift my perspective by telling or asking myself the right things.

Being Grateful is a Skill

I've learned that I've had to find it in me the strength and wisdom to see the glimmer of light in darkness, the glass half full, and to do it consistently if I want myself to be happier.  And only through that lens do I get to appreciate what I have than what I don't have; and realize that I'm actually doing great right now and everything is really OK.  And because that, I am reminded that I am enough and that there is enough and should be thankful to the One who has given me all these.

I also learned to understand that it takes skill to stop everything that goes by default in us.  Biologically, we are hardwired to eat, when hungry; snap when agitated, have sex when we have an urge to do so.  Our will, which makes us higher than other animals, takes energy to apply.  It is a conscious act that needs effort to stop what comes natural so we can direct our actions and reactions to that which is more civilized, accepted and aspired. 

Why do we Need to be Grateful?

Like the example above, being grateful immediately shifts you from the negative to positive, from not having to having.  Being in that mindset, it's easier to start seeing things that we normally take for granted; the easily forgotten things that are so because it's easily given or in abundance or that we don't concretely see them from where we stand.  With this lens we wouldn't see rain as the reason why we feel gloomy, instead as a blessing from above or we won't see a delay in flight as is but as a time for us to relax and rest more as we wait.  It takes a skilled eye to see these as so.  They say that there's 2 sides of the coin, one to cause you sorrow, one happiness, which one would you rather see?

And There's More

Being grateful also position ourselves for more abundance.  I noticed that when we get in touch with this frequency of energy, we attract more of it to come into our life.  The more we align ourselves to this, the faster we get to have what we wish for.  I'll take more about this in succeeding posts as I know that there are a number of tools that are available to get ourselves into the zone.

So let me leave you with the question, "What are you grateful for?". 

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, July 09, 2015
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