I have been feeling extra sensitive these days. Small things would lead me to just burst out inside me or on someone (God bless his soul). At this phase, I don't tolerate things that are not at par with my ideals. I won't tolerate it like a chronic leftist, always critical and fault-finding. At this time, everything would be on plain white paper, that a speck of mistake would be scrutinized and magnified and be cross-referenced from a deck of files of previous faults that was supposed to be already kept in tuck, hidden away after apologies has been said. Like they said, it's forgiven but not forgotten, that's the problem.
Anyways, if it's because of my maturity, I have hard time accepting, because I am 30 and should by now, have become better on this. But no. My feelings have gotten the better of me, yet again.
But maybe my hormones has something to do with this craziness, which I was relieved to find out to be true. Pre period stage is when hormones plunge down resulting to negative thoughts and sensitivity. Relieved but ashamed for putting out the hormone card.
When it's easy to blame it on hormones, I won't because that's not right. It's childish to do the blame game. At the end of the day, I am the captain of my ship and I won't let my ship drown by waves of hormones. I should not, most of the time, at least. I'd take full responsibility of my actions.
This reminds me to make that step back again and just see things in a broader perspective, which I actually did. And if that doesn't work, which it didn't, I should then focus on what makes me happy instead, which I didn't do. Do things that would make me happy, go outside for awhile, eat my feelings, read, write it down on a post, like this, travel on a whim, which would be fun to do next time.