Shy was at Baguio Village Inn

Shy was at Baguio Village Inn
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Friday, June 23, 2017

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I am back!


I haven't been writing for awhile now and I have come to miss it.  As I am touching my keyboard again, dancing through the beat of my thought and heart, I noticed that I want more of this.  This jiving of heart, mind, hands to give birth to a story.  I've miss this.  I missed it enough that I am romanticizing this art form, enough that I am making this whole thing poetic, and somehow OA even.  But I don't care.  I miss this.

I miss me spilling my thoughts out on screen, me just completing my sentences, thoughts, ideas, and finding my lips crack a smile, a satisfaction that I have made myself come out there.

That I have expressed myself out in the open.

I'll end it right here before I make this whole thing over the top.

But darn it, I miss this!


Publisher: Shy - Friday, June 23, 2017

Sunday, June 4, 2017

My Dear Friend Just Died



My friend from nursing school just died.  There I said it.  It's as if the times that we had shared laughter together wasn't that long ago, although thinking about it, it was more than a decade ago.  But I have kept my memories of him alive.  My kuya Erwin was like the older brother I never have.  My nursing family was and is like a 2nd family to me.  Being the youngest in the batch and in the group, I felt they were protective and loving of me and I was and still am grateful for them for the wonderful memories we had together.  Although our duties were quite challenging since we had to juggle work, family and studies, we kept ourselves entertained by just being together.

I remember the days when we have to cover for each other's missing apparatus or the days that we have to share  each others answers during exams.  I know I know it wasn't something I'm proud of knowing that I never get to cheat during my college years, but I really didn't mind helping out my group mate.  We were just like that.  We were a team and that's really how it was, and hopefully how it still is.

I remember the times that we treat our CIs to eat outs, or drinks after duty.  It was something I look forward to since we always get to feel comfortable around each other.

I remember the times that we had karaoke and discos. It was one of those memories that I get to treasure for the rest of my life and knowing that one of them is gone just breaks me.  I really have never thought of death, and life and it's just sad that we only get to think of it when someone dies.

Right now I am torn, feeling sad about the passing of my friend as well as worried about my own life. Have I really used it well?  Have I lived it well?  What kind of effect would I want to have in this world?  These questioning brings me back to the goal I have set for myself not long time ago and that is to spread positivity and light to as many people through my God-given talents and abilities.  And that should be a great motivation for me to be enthusiastically pursuing what I had been pursuing all along.  This time with more conviction, more urgency, more life, more love, and more purpose.

Thank you Kuya Erwin for giving me this perspective and boost when I need it the most.

Kuya Erwin, thank you for your life.  Your laughter, life, and energy was and is such a blessing to me and to the people whom you have touched.  I am sorry that I wasn't there when you had to go through a serious sickness, I didn't know.  I am sorry that I didn't get to pray for you and for your family, I just didn't know about the news.  But know that I appreciate you so much and I am sending my love and prayers to you in heaven.  We love you and will always have you in our hearts.
Publisher: Shy - Sunday, June 04, 2017

Thursday, June 1, 2017

An Epiphany at 3am


It's 3:04am.  Everybody is asleep and the only noise I could hear is the blowing of the fan and the barking of neighborhood dogs.

I woke up because of a dream.  Without spilling information, I have found my answer through it.  Although I am well aware of what the truth his, somehow my consciousness forces in a fantasy on how I wished things should be.  The infamous what could have beens, and what if's.  I understand it's a total waste of thought space, time and emotions to be thinking about these things, but somehow these thoughts had gotten my heart hooked, tied and lock down.  Is there any way I could get away with this easier?  

And then an epiphany landed on me easily, comfortably and cleanly, immediately after all the rundowns of thoughts on regrets.  This practice of walking down memory lane and skimming through the ifs and buts are nothing but distraction.  It robs me of resources that I need to have to get myself moving forward and in purpose.  It could be, what they say, a work of the enemy.  And so I before I would immerse myself over an idea, I would have to ask myself 3 things: if it serves me, if it serves God, if it serves mankind.  If it's not, then it's a total waste of my time.  

I just thought of sharing this to you before I forget it.  I'm literally typing with my eyes half closed.  So I guess that's it.  I'll doze off again.
Publisher: Shy - Thursday, June 01, 2017

Friday, March 17, 2017

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Lost and Found

Lost and found.

My destination was  an art gallery found at a corner of 2 streets, that was all I know and that was all the information I had to lead me there.  I went on taking the bus that my bro-in-law told me to take.  I told the conductor to drop me to the place I intended to drop off.  Advised by my seatmate, he nudged me telling me to go down because we have reached the place I was telling him about, and confirming from the yells of the conductor, I went down the bus.  But I knew even upon entering the corner a few minutes ago that I wasn't in the right place, this was confirmed by the candy seller, tricycle driver and van shuttle caller.  They don't know the place where I wanted to go.  So the guard from the bank nearby asked me to go to the overpass because near there was a barangay station and people there could teach me where to go.  So I grabbed my 11"x16" framed art and went down the street for a 5 minute walk towards the station.  Inside I saw 3 men sitting down on plastic chairs and at the corner there was a man at the desk, whom I would be asking directions from.  He then phoned another barangay station as the place I was going to wasn't part of his terrirtory.  Over the other line was a 40-ish year old woman, telling me to go to the gate, and hop off the jeep at a certain point, I found myself scribbling hurriedly on my notepad, and just to be sure, repeated to her what she just said.  So when all was noted and right, I thank the lady, put down the phone and thank the guy at the desk.  I went up the street again from where the candy seller was at and got a jeep there to take me to my destination.  I dropped off, crossed the street with a woman and her little girl.  Got inside the gallery and submitted my art.  Heading outside, I still didn't know how to get home so I then asked a tricycle driver for directions, upon asking, another driver rallied over to what the other driver was saying.  They both said to get the jeep which would take me to the highway and I did.  I then paid the jeepney driver and went down the highway along with a handful of passengers, walked a few distance and snuggled under the shed of the tree.  I saw the jeep that would take me home, hopped in, dropped off and walked home from there.

You see, I had been through a lot of people, for what I thought was just a simple errand of going to the gallery and going home.   It was far more twisted than I could have imagined, and a trip that I thought would only take me less than 2 hours took me almost 3 hours to accomplished, but I didn't complain.  Not a bit.  Frustrated?  Not at all.  Anxious?  No, never.  Getting lost in a place that I haven't been to, getting lost under the extreme heat of the sun, getting lost while it's hot and smoke belched out was clouding up my lungs, for sure those would probably upset me.  But, you see,  I didn't really got bothered by it all, for what really, truly appeared to me was that people from all sorts of background were there to help me readily, willingly with concern and care.  They even asked others for directions for me.  I felt guided, safe, and above all loved.  For me, the simple errand of submitting my artwork was a journey of love.   By being lost, I found His love through these people who had helped me find my way. 
Publisher: Shy - Friday, March 17, 2017

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

ShopBack: The Smartest Way to Shop Online

Adulting is hard.  


It  pushes me to study things I don't want to study; it drives me to care for things I really don't even want to  care for before, and it forces  me to figure out the nitty gritty of real life like budgeting, prioritizing and calculating, bringing me back to that subject I hated most - Math.  And since I wanted to be carefree, my initial reaction was to rebel and to avoid, not giving in to the pressures of adulthood.  So I went on a spending free and next thing I know,  I couldn't withdraw anymore.  My ATM slapped me on the face with the pop up saying 'insufficient funds'.

Ever since then, I vowed to think smart, live smart, and to save as much as I could save, prioritize on things that are more important, leave off the ones which aren't really needed, and finally put my life in order.

And just as I was in this middle of figuring out this financial literacy thing, ShopBack came into the picture like an angel in the night.  It opened my eyes to great saving possibilities that I couldn't even imagine possible.  It showed me exciting opportunities on getting as much as 14% cash backs on my purchases and transactions online.  With ShopBack, I could now enjoy unlimited savings on my favourite online stores!

You can earn cashback from ShopBack when you shop online using new and latest Lazada voucher, seasonal Zalora promo code and even travel bookings with Expedia.

What is ShopBack you say? 
It's an online platform where you could shop or book through some of the world's largest shopping sites such as Lazada, Zalora, and and hotel/travel booking sites like Expedia, Hotel.com and Booking.com, and get cashbacks from your transactions.

Sometimes you could enjoy higher cashbacks especially when you see the money bag icon,   which means an upgrade of cashback.  This would pop up every now and then depending on available deals and promotions so make sure to be on the look out for it.

What is the Beauty of ShopBack?
I have always been on a hunt for a Cold pressed Moroccan Argan oil, because I heard of all the magical wonders that it could do for my hair.  But after much scouting I soon realized that it's a bit expensive that I wouldn't want to bet my money on it for now.   Luckily I discovered that the 30ml Organika Cold Pressed Moroccan Argan oil is now on 53% sale on Lazada, and through Shopback, I am able to get as much as 3% cash back on top of it.  Purchasing Argan oil now seems to be a lot more possible.   It may sound pretty petty, but for someone who had been eyeing on this item for awhile now, this is MAJOR.    And just recently, I heard that Under Armour is running a promo where they're giving away 25% discount on their items, and with Shopback's cashback of 6%, it's now possible to enjoy a 31% discount. Calculating gets a little bit more exciting when counting discounts.  I think I am slowly loving Math already with all these yummy cut backs.  Call me stingy if you want, but I call it playing smart.

How does ShopBack works?
Online sites sites would give ShopBack commissions from referrals and in turn ShopBack shares a portion of that to us through cashbacks.  So it is mutually beneficial for the parties involve, a win-win-win situation for all.

How to Use ShopBank
1.  Log in to your ShopBank account and shop in your favorite online shopping sites like Zalora, Lazada etc.

Note: Once you select one website to shop from, a 'few things to note' window will pop up.

2. You will be directed to the main site.  Purchase items as usual and add to cart.

3. Cashbacks credit would appear under Pending page in your ShopBack account within 48hours after purchase.


4.  Credit would be redeemable once it reaches P300 and if it's already 30-60days after purchase to ensure that item was successfully delivered and wasn't returned or shipback.


5.  Request cash out through paypal, Globe Gcash or to any bank accounts listed below:
- BDO
- BPI
- Metrobank
- East West
- Chinabank
- Security Bank
- RCBC
- UCPB
- UnionBank
- PNB

Note: You have to do payment cashout within a year once credit became redeemable.

6.  Bonuses could be given once redeemable cashback reaches a minimum of P300.  Different bonus tiers and promos apply on different deals.

no foll


I know shopping is fun, but it's even more fun when you know that you are getting the most savings out of your purchases.  Shopping through ShopBack, for me, seems to be  the smartest way to shop.   I don't think I would shop anywhere else after this.  I mean, why would I when I know I could get more savings when I do it over ShopBack.  It just makes more sense that way, don't you think so?

Thinking of all these money saving techniques, I couldn't help but to feel more like a responsible adult now. Shopping smartly is easier now that I have the right tool to do it.  Well, adulting doesn't seem to be so hard after all.  I think this is a good start.

Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Looking in This Time

Reflection


My 2016 was a year of movement and travels and since I was usually in motion, I'd like to make 2017 in stillness.

2016 was the year I search for outside to fill me from the inside.  I look for other people or other place to explore, befriend, and be accustomed to, loosing me in it.  The noise outside blocks from what I have in the inside.  I looked at life like a tv screen completely forgetting me as the viewer probably because I haven't created much or done much for me to see myself in the whole picture.  Maybe that's really the essence of creation, this invokes my participation in my life.  For me to see myself being it, I need to create something be it a moment, an object, a masterpiece, and see myself through my creation, and stand in my world as futile or as strong as my creation made me.

There's a sense of urgency that's blocking me to think, to hope and to be positive.  It's like a siren that rings endlessly, that forces me to move, fast now.  Move, go, fast, now, over and over like a broken record.  With stillness, it could allow me to embrace and appreciate whatever I have, thereby making me embrace and love wherever I am, in whatever situation I may be in.  To see that wherever I am now, is exactly where I should be at this moment, gives me a sense of rightness and a level of victory.  This gives space for clarity and for openness to catch whatever signs that life would direct me to.

I'm going to invite stillness in 2017, more inward reflection, and more writing, more meditation, more prayers, more yoga, more being in the moment and more appreciation, and let's see what life throws at me in that space.
Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Highlights of my 2016



This year has been one of the most memorable year to say the least.  There were victorious and tumultous times, however even with the deep dips in this year, I've considered this one as the one where I got the most lessons and growth from.  

Thus I am eternally grateful for 2016 and for the people who were part of it.


January
February - Sister's Wedding and Tea Party with friends




March - Air Balloon festival, Clark, Pampanga



April - law of attraction group, Nagsasa Cove, Zambales


pic not mine.Source

May
- Pahiyas festival, Lucban, Laguna


June
July - My first group art exhibit, Tagaytay, dgroup get together



August
September
October - dgroup outing


November - Batanes, Christmas party dgroup




December - Vietnam




Just a sudden enlightenment:  I asked the Lord for growth for this year.  I asked for mental, spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial growth. but I think it was answered in His way for I received a huge lesson which has greatly changed me and and my perspectives in life.   

There's growth in every lesson learned.  

Thank God for the answered prayer.
Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Monday, December 19, 2016

My 2016: Its Ups and Downs and All its Run Arounds

life lessons

I've set this year to be a year of growth.

Growth in all aspect: financially, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually.  Like other people I started strong, and like so many others, dwindled along the way.  When there's a lot of things to do, it's too easy to get lost in it; it's too easy to loose the determination, and it's too hard to sustain the fun.

So the first lesson of this year, never ever set yourself for defeat.  At first, we get lofty with our goals, and we get impatient to get them so we squeeze them in an unrealistic time frame.

So no more 10 new years resolution for me.  It will be cut down to 3 this time.  I must say that what I have improved on for this year was socially.  I hooked myself in a church and signed up for a discipleship group which I thank God for because the ladies there are just divine.  We may not be able to see each other regularly as hope but the sisterhood is something that could potentially last forever.

Financially was not at all pleasant.  I could not find the right job and I was not able to push myself to work hard on a job that I have grown very familiar with for the last 7 years.  It was clear to me that it was time to move on or lie low.  The thing that I am only waiting now is for that right opportunity to show up on my plate.

Physically had its highs and lows.  I was able to do a physical challenge for a month, one where I may have pushed myself more than I've wanted too, moreso that I easily convinced myself that it wasn't for me.   I've realized that it doesn't really make sense doing things that wasn't fun anymore.  Sure at some point, I need to challenge myself.  But then life will be throwing a lot of challenges on my way in the future, why not just have fun on things that I can have the option to have fun, and endure on things that life demands me to endure.  So enough with all these physical challenges already and on to what I truly love, dancing.

Emotionally was a standoff. Sure there was growth on that area, but I had to go through some hard things that were necessary for me to learn what I have already known -- self love.  I get lost in relationships, because it was one of my occupation whenever I don't feel well.   Of course I still get to do things I need to do for myself, but when nothing much is happening, I find myself falling back on my relationship as a sort of an emotional cushion.  And when it's not there to catch me or support me, I become a mess.  So then I learned that the only emotional cushion that I need to fall on is God and me because I cannot rely on other people, and sometimes I cannot rely on myself, at least I have God to rely on.  The pillar of my strength.

Socially was a bloom for me.  I find myself growing in that church.  I don't feel required to attend every Sunday, but when I do, I feel like I'm being welcomed with arms wide open, much like the story of the Prodigal child.  I squander, I lick the earth, but whenever I sense that I need to 'go back', I am embraced; my attendance feels being celebrated and I think this is how a church should be.  And so I would be coming back for more of it, and probably be active in a ministry.

Spiritually is pretty much connected with my social area.  I did however dabble on the spiritual energy and meditation side as to cover much ground on my belief of spirituality.  I got myself a group on law of attraction, some belief I was able to incorporate into my lifestyle, however some teachings become wooshoo-voodoo type that I feel I need to distance myself a bit.  I'm looking forward for more growth in this area.

So there you are, a bit vague, but that's how I like it.  My realizations would serve as a reminder, but I somehow understand that people have to go through things for them to really learn a lesson.  So my advise is to be open for life and be okay if it isn't moving the way you wanted it too.  Being still and waiting are spiritual.  Life isn't supposed to be a rat race all the time, life is also the stillness.

Embrace every aspect of it.






Publisher: Shy - Monday, December 19, 2016
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