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Thursday, October 30, 2014

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What People Need to know about Amusement and Recreation

Just few days back, I was able to finish John Maxwell's book entitled Desination Success: A map for living out your dreams.  Although I've read some of his books before and some points were like echoes from those previous ones I read, there were still some new treasures that popped out for me and I felt like sharing it to you.  One is about the difference between Amusement and Recreation.

The Difference Between

Amusement was defined as "the process of not thinking deeply, but rather superficially, about a subject.  Literally it means to shut off your mind an not think about things while you are being entertained.".   These are activities that we do and things we engage in which are merely to pass off time. We feel a temporary high, or feel whatever emotions that comes out of doing those.  After which it doesn't leave a lasting impression on us, thereby doesn't really contribute in making our lives richer.  And by richer means adding more lasting memories.

Falling for a Trap

Sadly majority of our activities are for our amusement.  Whether we are aware of it or not, we have let our time be consumed in some senseless activities, and in this age of technology, a lot of these had become easily available, accessible and are usually free so it is prone to exploit.  One good example is social media.  Try to notice more on activities you do with such sites.  With facebook most people are just scanning through feeds, which would lead them to all sorts of direction.  Either to a very interesting article, to an album of a friend or even a distant friend who recently went on vacation, a timeline of an acquaintance whom you are interested on checking out their status in life.   Have they gone married, where are they settled and so on.  You'll see yourself turn into a spy, and for what?  To satisfy your curiosity.  And for what? For nothing.  So you know that they have gone to far more places than you do, worked for more prestigious companies, married a more good looking partner, and pretty much seemed to have a better life than you do.  And then what? You fall into a pit of self pity.   All those hours and effort spent to make you feel bad.  Now was it time worth spending?  I don't think so.  After realizing this, I have limit my use of facebook.  Although my curiosity sometimes gets the better of me, at least, I have a voice at the back of my mind to remind me to just stop it.

Recreation on the other hand are more fruitful activities that leaves great memories behind and are usually best spent with someone.  Examples of which are traveling, doing sports, hiking, and so on.

Time is Gold

This mere awareness of the need to spend more time on recreation and less on amusement activities has given me a better understanding on spending time itself.  It reminds  me that time should be spent wisely.  This may not hit hard on you yet, and you may need to experience some situations that would let you learn this lesson but, I still I feel the need to remind everyone about this.  So yes, time is precious.  There are so many goals and productive things that you can do for an hour.  It's a resource that you need to give back to yourself and not to meaningless things.  Do something that would benefit your life.

Spending Time on Self

There was a depressing time in my life that I was lost.  I was merely existing.  And although I love my job, I knew it was not the job for me.  I was made for something more than it.  I had allowed myself to just ride through life.  I felt quite empty, and then I realized that's because I haven't really spent time on myself. I spent it on other people.  Checking on them through facebook, working for them, thinking about them.  No wonder I felt that way.  I haven't really done something with myself and for myself.  I haven't even checked my reflection on the mirror for a long time.  I think that's really how life goes.  What you focus on grows.  If you divert your energy on yourself, I believe you would feel more empowered because you are feeding yourself the attention, the time, the care and the love that you so deserve.  And I think that's how self love works.

I understand that people got responsibilities and they would easily dismiss the idea by arguing that "we've got no time for that."  There is time if we make time for it.  An hour can do wonders to hour soul and dreams.

Think about this, what if for every hour you spend doing an activity that gives you one step toward your dream?  Imagine how fast you can achieve your goals and how many dreams you can achieve?  

That's an idea I'd like to leave behind.

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, October 30, 2014

Sunday, October 26, 2014

5 Reasons Why People Just don't do What they Need to do

Hear me out here.  There's probably a lot of people there who has this predicament.  They've listed down all they need to do for the day, even did this a week before only to not do it.  I know you are all too familiar with this   .But let me break it down to you anyway, just so you can have a bit of reflection yourself and maybe, just maybe, would learn to stop what you need to stop, and do what you have to do.

1.  Because you're lazy.  You are not inherently lazy.  I've read that no one is born lazy. It's just that you choose to be lazy.  Maybe it's your decision that this phase is your lazy season and you seem to be going along with it.  Nothing is out there to push you.  Nothing in you to push yourself.  So what happens is you talk your way out of doing your tasks and you effortlessly believe it.

2.  You failed to follow through.  You may have the initiative to plan ahead but you didn't have the wits to go back to the drawing board and see what's up for the day.  The moment you woke up, you completely forgot about your plan and went on with the day with whatever you thought you should do, or make a new to-do list.  You see the many ways you have wasted time?  You have wasted writing your pre plan because you have ignored it and forgot about it, and you are now "wasting" more time because you have to make a new one again, as if you haven't made one already.

3. Not motivated.  It's easy to loose track and loose sight of the goal when it is not at the top of your head.  One thing I learned is if you cannot see it, you cannot think of it. Well although it may not always be true in the matters of the heart, it is true when reaching your goal, that's why a dream board was invented.  It serves as a constant reminder of what you need to do, making it at the top of your head so you reorient yourself again and get back to business.

4.  You are distracted.  When you're too caught up with fun things, it's hard to stick to things you need to be doing.  Choosing between watching the ballgame and doing your task is like choosing to eat crispy fried chicken verses a soggy asparagus.  This is where maturity comes in.  The ideal way to tackle this problem is prioritization.  Do your task first and then do whatever the hell you want to do after.  The tale of the delayed gratification.  To make this sound not so much like a pain in the arse, why not just record the game, and so you can watch it later, or just reheat or refry the chicken so it will be crispier when you eat it.  Make the prize yummier the more you delay on feasting on it.   Just try and see what happens.

5.  Not in the mood.  You know the time that you are drowned in a pile of shit, and you are constantly thrown by problems one on top of the other as if you are being punished by God for something that you may have done before and you are lamenting saying "why me?, why not other people?".   While all this is happening, you are suddenly faced with a to-do list that looks to you like another bill you have to pay.  It makes you want to throw it and makes you want to cower because you are not done with your emotions yet.  Your gas tank is at the red level.  You feel like you have nothing to give.  Your cup is overflowing, alright. It's overflowing with shit.  So you just take your time and heal your own wounds first.  Take your moment to question the meaning of your life.  And once you have found that light in the end of the tunnel, you finally find that energy to cross the first one on the list, which is to greet the morning, and then you realize that it's already 7:34pm.  You feel sad, but took comfort in the fact that there is still tomorrow. 

Do you have any thoughts to add on the list?

Do share.  I would love to hear it. :)

Publisher: Shy - Sunday, October 26, 2014

Wednesday, September 17, 2014


Tarot Card Reading from that guy named Hugo

Image Source: tarot

His name was Hugo.

It may not be his real name, but that's what he introduced himself anyway.  He's a guy I met in the Urban Pub Hostel where I booked for 4 nights while staying in Kowloon.  He's hispanic, probably from Chile or Argentina. I forgot. But what I do remember was that he worked for an Advertising company in New York and was staying in Hongkong for a break from his Martial arts training in some province in China.  Yes, he was trying to master tiger style martial arts, just so he "can master something".   Surely with this background, he's nothing short of fascinating.  He has that personality that almost every one in the guest house, for the ones staying there for awhile that is, treated him as family even after only spending 11 days there.

So as I got in the hostel, I saw him and another guy squatting on the floor, and I immediately noticed a stack of  tarot cards in Hugo's hand.  He carefully laid each card with front part kissing the floor.  By then, both of them were already engrossed in the art of fate reading.  We said our his and hellos as I passed by them and went on inside my room.  After awhile, I got out, had more chats and naturally agreed to have my fortune read as soon as he offered.  I couldn't help myself.

I had to put these cards and Hugo's reading skills to the test.

We were sitting on the floor opposite each other with stacks of cards in between us.  Moments after he was flipping the cards I chose, and took a pause.

There was one card he was giving more attention to.  It has a woman with some trinkets at her feet.  He then said that I was in a middle of the transition and what that card symbolizes was everything I needed were all at my feet, all I had to do was just go for it.

It was somehow right.  The Hongkong trip was a trip not only for leisure but to test my bravery.  Bravery to turn my back on nursing and finally pursue whatever dreams I had in life.  I knew deep within that I have all that it takes to make it inn life, and I guess I was just afraid to take the plunge.  It was reassuring that the cards were in line with what I was going through.

Without giving much details, I told him he was right and explained to him as briefly as I can without getting too emotional.  He continually expressed how privileged he was having to witness someone undergoing this momentous life transition, and how he saw it as inspiring and beautiful when people head forth to the unknown.

The whole thing was a confirmation that what I'm doing was right and it felt good, and at the same time weird, because I was taking all of these feels from tarot cards, but then again, any form of reassurance is most welcome especially when I'm in a very vulnerable and empowering life transition such as this.  

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Call Me Maybe at Giant Buddha, Lantau Island Hongkong

Sorry for the delay.  This trip happened last year December on my birthday and yet here I am telling you about it 9 months after.

Now if it isn't comparable to rotten rice, is it?

But I figured that it's worth sharing.  I'll follow the rest of the HK stories hereafter.

Image Source: 2travel4

So on my birthday Dec. 6, the itinerary was Lantau Island - go around Po Lin Monastery in the morning and Disney land in the afternoon.  For any tourists, one would have set a day for each destination, but no, not me.  I had the audacity to fit in 2 big destinations in a day.

So there I was climbing hundreds of steps on my way to the Giant Buddha.  Of course, I was in this alone.  And as I finally reached the top, I was mesmerized on how big the Buddha really was up close.  Fascinating.  There were tourists taking pics, and I was doing the same, but just can't get a full body pic of myself.  I felt the pressure to take one, hearing my friend in my mind saying how pathetic it is to have no decent picture in a magnificent place such as the place I was in.  Looking left and right for a kind soul to save me from that insult, I finally saw a Chinese guy holding a donation box with a picture of Chinese students covering the front of it.  So I dropped $10 HKG in the box and said "Can you take a picture of me please?", while pointing at the Giant Buddha.  He replied in Chinese.  So I asked again, using body gestures this time.  He obliged.  As expected he had a hard time looking at the screen since it was dark (anyone who has a Samsung Galaxy XY can surely relate) but thankfully he managed.

He let me check my phone to see if his shot was ok.  I replied with a thumbs up.  He then maneuvered me by grabbing me by the shoulders, moving me closer beside him. In my mind I was thinking "what the hell is happening?".  Next thing I know, he was getting something from his pocket and saw that it was a big ass screened phone --- 3 times bigger than my puny Samsung Galaxy.  I was tempted to get my $10 HKG  back from him.  Damn this guy seems more rich than I am.  And before I was able to react, it gradually occurred to me that he was trying to get a selfie of us.  Feeling like a celebrity, I let it happen anyway and gave a beauty pageant smile.

This guy probably hasn't seen a goddess all his life.  Well boy, now is your lucky day. LOL

Shortly after, I asked him to tag me on facebook. I felt stupidity rushed over me, realizing that there was no facebook in this part of the world.

Then I saw him doing this.

Yeah right, so you can call me and we can talk yeah?

Uhmm that makes a lot of sense.

I just smiled at him, shook my head and went down the stairs.

This day couldn't get any more interesting, and it was just the morning.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Learning the Art of Moving on : 5 Proven Tips to Help you Get back on Track

Image Source: favim

I am no love guru.  

I haven't been deeply, romantically in love before.  In fact, you would probably have more experience in love than I do. But I've had my fair share of love stories turned drama/tragic anthologies, that I felt I've come full circle in this arena.   This makes me want to just share to you what I know in moving on in the hopes to bring healing to those whose hearts are still bleeding.

And this, my friend,  is what I know.

1.  Listening to Adele won't make you feel any better.  Sure she spills out what your heart and guts want to spill out.  You cry, because you think that crying would unload you of the burden you feel inside, until to the point that you can't cry anymore.  Let me break it to you, at the point that you can't cry anymore is when you're dehydrated and all shriveled up.  Unless you stop drinking water and have yourself sunbathe for 10 hours a day whilst crying can you only expect to have no tears flowing.  When you hit that play button, you will still cry because you're hurt, and tears will still flow because you happened to be majorly composed of water.  Adele has already moved on, and I bet a dollar that she wants you to move on too.  So don't rape the replay button and move on to a jollier playlist... seriously.

2.  Acceptance takes time.  Don't force yourself to feel ok.  It will take time to accept that you will not take a role in delivering justice to all the injustice that you felt was done to you.  Unless of course you want to, but that would be wrong, right?  Just accept that unacceptable things were committed, and take delight in the fact that it's over and it's done with.  You don't have to deal with the one who did it.  Let karma take it's course.  Just believe in it.  The more you do, the stronger, faster, and more lethal it will be.  Kidding.  Just be thankful on what you've learned, and stay focus on the future is really the key to it.

3.  The power is in your hands.  I've once had a chat with my friend and asked her how she was able to move on quickly.  She said she just decided on it, and that was pretty much it.  And I was taken aback how it was so easy for her.  It sounded like she was just delivering a letter in the mail, while for me, it felt like I was strangling some hippopotamus or a devil Goliath, or both at the same time.  Clearly I wasn't still able to accept things, and it's ok.  Take your time.

4. Say it like it is.  Don't dramaticized it because drama kills you.  I'll give you example.

Fact:  Things didn't work out. He didn't deliver and wasn't able to treat me right, and I wasn't mature enough to understand so we had to stop it.

Dramaticized: I gave up everything for him but he still made me feel like I was nothing but a rag, a worthless piece of crap and he broke my trust when I thought he wouldn't. Of all the people, he would be the least person to do that to me, but he did... he did... buhuhu (this is the part where Adele's song "Someone Like You" is playing in your head and you are tempted to go to your cupboard and gulp in several of your grandmother's antibiotics and anti hypertensive drugs).

5. Shift your focus to the future.  After a break up you'll end up with a clean slate which is exciting if you'll come to realize it.  You are free now.  Free to take in the world and shift it whichever way you want.  No more partner to consider.  The wheel is yours... Now give Adele a break and switch in to Diana Ross' 'I'm Coming out.'

So go out girlfriend.  

Image Source:

Let's meet out for coffee at 3!  :)

Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Monday, September 8, 2014

10 Things I Would Tell my 20 Year-old Self

Image source: favim

Have you ever had this gut-wrenching feeling? That feeling you often get when you see your college pic on your facebook feed just because a classmate of yours commented on how innocent everyone looked in it?  that feeling when a college friend of yours told you that her notable memory of you is when you missed out on a Zoology field trip and a Physics exam, just because you were not aware of them?

And that's what she remembered you for --- clueless.

Yes.  That's the feeling of self disownment.  A part of you hated what you hear or see that it is just willing to dismiss it as somebody else'.  You hated that group picture of you with your classmates.
The one with you in your big eyeglasses, not willing to crack up a smile because you were too afraid that your braces would show up and would appear as glare on photo; or that time when you were walking at the hallway of the right wing of the building, because know that your super duper crush is at the left wing and you just wanted to be far, far away because when the demigod is just 3 meters away from you you know, from experience, that you would make a complete donkey out of yourself.

Let's face it.  We all had our times, and clearly enough, I had mine too.  Too plenty to count even.

 But if I were to turn back the hands of time, here are the things that I wish I could tell my 20 year old self.

At 20, 2004 it was, a 3rd year college girl having a full load and almost a bulk of my majors.  This time, my bestfriend who constantly reminds me of the exams already transferred school, so this was my 'alone phase'.

1.  People may come and go.  Those close ones may have done things for you that you've never noticed much until they're gone.  Cover the bases that they've covered for you.  You've learned when they were around, and you'll also learn when they are not.

2.  Treasure college friends.  They'll be as close to you like family in the future.

3.  Open up.  Loosen up.  College is more forgiving than highschool.

4.  Smile.  You're 10 times prettier when you do.

5. Don't fail that subject because you've hated your trigonometric professor ever since she'd written down cosigns and epsilons on the board on the very first day of class.  You would be spending a summer at school when you were supposed to be at the beach chilling and sipping mango shake.

6.  Take your mind off dieting.  You'll be surprised that pounds will gradually shed off when you're not constantly pounding yourself to diet.  It doesn't make sense but it works.

7.  You made the right choice to quit the dance group.  You very well know that the only way for you to enjoy dancing is not on stage but in the comforts of your room, all locked up and you dance like there's no tomorrow; like there was no one to please but yourself, with your only sole purpose is for you to fulfill your desire for self expression; no one to judge you for making one step too fast, too wide or too narrow, for every step, if when in the room, is just perfect and always on timing.

8.  You are beautiful.  Let it not get in your mind that you are not just because in their standards you're fat.  You are beautiful.  Even when no guy has told you that, even when the only girl who did was your prayer mate who complimented you when in a field trip, when you took extra effort combing your hair and you wore that red collared shirt which always makes you feel pretty even when it's already faded and raggedy.

9.  Stop worrying too much about the future.  Don't let it rob you off the joy of being a student.  You wouldn't really figure it out.  I haven't exactly figured it out yet.  But maybe we'll really never going to figure out, and maybe doing what you love would be next to figuring it out, so might as well do just that.

10. Get in the habit of praying.  When times are tough and roads rough, you'll just find yourself incapable of doing things. Just pray.  There'll be mountains not too far ahead which would break you down, and tear you up.  It's this time, my dear, for you to strengthen yourself in prayer.  
Publisher: Shy - Monday, September 08, 2014

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

I'm Lusting all Over Again.

"It's amazing how some things started out weird and ended up being beautiful."  

So I haven't been posting for awhile.  Some writer's block is happening.  But really I'm just stopping myself from sharing something I'm going through these past few months.    It has been the frog in my throat, the snot to my nose, for the lack of the better term.  You see, it isn't a bad thing.  No close to snot nor frog, it's beautiful.  I'll share it once I'm already ready to do so.

This morning I wake myself with barrels of poetic statements in my mind. Excerpts from stories and moments worth writing.  The idea is there, but the pain is constructing the whole thing from start to end, breathing life to it through words just so you can finally fit in that single line that started it all.  It demands to be written down in words, else it disappears and you end up having nothing on your creative plate again.

At this moment, that plate is empty.  It probably took me awhile to force myself out of bed and exhausted that feeling demanded by the image in sudden bursts of laughter or momentary contemplation, or even gush of disgust. The streak of day dreaming has already left me and I'm now facing the laptop, empty in mind yet full in heart.  For whatever reason, I managed to write some words and a sudden realization of gratefulness came into me, that for me made more sense on contemplating on instead of the weird streak of made-up imagery that left me psychotic for a few minutes.

For days I've allowed myself to be anxious and overwhelmed on something that was meant to be fun and exciting.  Somehow I had to find a way to manage my emotion and keep myself centered again, and what better way to start it by opening up with a grateful heart.

Indeed I am blessed and for that I'm grateful.

I am grateful for the shelter, the food in the ref, and the one that's still in my tummy - a result of last night's habhab, the loved ones who want only but happiness for me, this fresh air in the morning and the bright sun in the afternoon, the quietness in the evening that makes me at peace and still, the future and what I can create with it by just deciding today, the flexibility and freedom of my job, the lack of responsibility.

Surely this life of a single woman working as a freelancer isn't bad.  

I just have to make the most of it.

A couple of hours later, here I am once again, planning for a solo trip down the southern part of Luzon for a week? 2 weeks? Who knows.

Or perhaps weekend travels to random provinces... Excited much!

It's amazing how some things started out weird and ended up being beautiful ---Oh just one of the ironies of life.
Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Friday, June 13, 2014


This Could be one of my Most Brilliant Arguments Hands Down!

"Of course that didn't work out, but hey, at least the moment was one for the books."

Here's what I think is brilliant.  This isn't absolutely original. I've heard a similar joke of it from this amazing stand up comedian, Russell Peters, and it had just stayed to me until it revealed itself quite useful right at the moment when I needed it.

Situation: I sleep at the top bed, while younger bro sleeps at the bottom bed.
Problem: I wanted to switch beds with him.  There's a gleam of possibility that he'll allow me to.

Me: Hey can we switch beds?
Bro: No.

So out of desperation and a bit of inspiration from Russell Peters I finally argued:

Me: They say that mature people aren't afraid of change.  Be mature.  Choose change.


Of course that didn't work out, but hey, at least the moment was one for the books.
Publisher: Shy - Friday, June 13, 2014
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