Shy was at Baguio Village Inn

Shy was at Baguio Village Inn
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Saturday, April 27, 2013

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Awkward Smile

So going to Palawan, I had a hunch that most probably we will be crashing on to some foreign tourists, and most likely there will arise a need to strike up a conversation with them.  My thought was: I could handle it, I mean I did have some flawless conversation with a couple of tourists during my Indochina trip, surely I can do that again in Palawan.

So feeling confident, I figured it should be fine.

Do people need to think about these small things?  I mean, it shouldn't be much of a problem right?  They are  humans too and they don't bite... really.

So we were in El Nido Palawan, and we just got in the van we signed up for a trip to the Underground river.  Before heading to our destination, we had to pick up a couple in an inn somewhere in town.  So we slowly skid our way in front of the inn's entrance, and suddenly came out a couple of Europeans.  The girl, a french lady, broadly built but she still looked stunning with her Scarlett Johanssen face.  And the guy. This guy was wearing his crisp white polo, khaki cargo shorts and this stellar glasses, first thing I thought was he just looked like Liam Hemsworth.  Even after seconds of just looking at them hurriedly wearing their shoes out in the patio, left me with a ball of hair down my throat.  I was at the edge of my seat.  Now obviously, that doesn't happen to me ever so often.  Me attracted to a guy this much, doesn't come by too often as it has with girls.  For some reason, a handsome face that would make me swoon is a rare happening.  Very rare that it made me question... Why?! Where are the good looking guys at?  Maybe I do have a high standard for guys, but still, there should be at least 2 or 3 guys(a year) who could match up to it.

Anyways, so there they got in the van and seated comfortably behind us.  I was practically silent. Yes.  In my head, I was already thinking of something to say...

Hey where are you guys from?

How long have you been here?

How are you?  My name is...

Isn't this a wonderful day? My name is...

You know what, you guys look like Hollywood stars, can I have a picture taken with the both of you?

I mean, every introductory lines I could possibly think of, I've already thought of twice or maybe more than that.  And there I was, just seated facing ahead, pretending to be checking on some pictures, taking pictures, talking to my mother beside me, sleeping, every possible thing you could do except being friendly and talk to the few tourists seated nearby.

In one of our stops, we had lunch at a beach, and there we were lining up for the buffet.  The couple were lining up ahead of us, I thought that it would be a perfect time to just talk to them.  And again in my head, there went lines and lines that I could possibly say, and finally she stared my way... the Scarlett Johanssen looking lady was there looking at me, which was the perfect point to open my friggin mouth and say something nice, but all I ended up with was

an awkward smile.


a smile that says, I've been meaning to talk to you for hours but I can't seem to do it.  So I hope you could see all that frustrated energy and friendship on my face.


Publisher: Shy - Saturday, April 27, 2013

Sunday, April 21, 2013

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Why am I Talking to Myself?

Just few minutes ago, I was ever so casually walking  towards the kitchen, like I usually do when I go anywhere inside the house.

And then suddenly...

I said...

"We are gonna go prepare...", and right off the bat, felt a tsunami of question marks.  

"Why am I talking to myself?" 

and moreso, why did I use the word "we" instead of "I"??!!

What is going on here?


Do I have split personalities, that I am not aware of?  Well of course I have different factions of personalities, I just so hope that it wouldn't turn out something psychotic.

Because well... that's scary.

We are not scary. Nooo... Source

I don't know if you think it's normal, but hearing me talking to myself sometimes makes me feel in control.  Like I am having this activity with myself and I am facilitating that activity.  Validating myself.  Confirming what I intend to do and it makes me feel good.

Excited sometimes.

I guess like in any relationships, we tend to forget one of the most important relationships we needed to improve and put more focus on : relationship with ourselves.   We need to address what we think we want somehow, even when we think it's not possible; I'm sure there are ways.  And if and when it wouldn't be immediate, thinking that you've already scheduled doing that already satisfies the craving somehow.

To tame that childish desires and make it work for you somehow and not against you.

In my life, I've learned to never ignore that inner child; to make friends with it and know how it ticks.  And I think once you've master that, maybe then you could make it easier for you to finally act on something you've always wanted for yourself.

And maybe then you could make your dreams come true.


Publisher: Shy - Sunday, April 21, 2013

Thursday, April 18, 2013

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My Fantasy vs. My Reality

 In my mind 

I am a fairy mermaid

In reality

I am drowning... with swollen lips

In my mind

I am Adriana Lima chillin' on the rock y'all.  You lucky rock you!

In reality

Me sitting on the rock, pretending to look at the side in my lousy attempt to get a "candid" shot.

In my mind

I'm a sultry hot Bohemian goddess.  Raawwwrrr!

In reality

That's me wearing a strap on my head and a long necklace, looking all sad and clueless.

In my mind

Uhmm yeah, MJ! why not!? :)

In reality

here's why...

Publisher: Shy - Thursday, April 18, 2013

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

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Painting Flowers over Flaws.

However academically endowed I am, I unabashingly admit to say that I was really stupid.  BIG TIME.  And just to give you a sneak peek of the severity, my ex in our getting-to-know stage described how their house looks like.  And I would start to imagine it but everything in cloudy mode here, whatever flaws I would put flowers.  I would romanticize everything.  When he told me how he looked like, I would push back those bad descriptions and would draw in a more appealing one.

How sick is that?!

And when I would see things in person, my brain would scream.


So it's true!  What I was told was really true!  Not the one in my mind...

Even my arctic friends think it's stupid. 

Not the one I've painted beautifully in my mind.  I know, I was told, but I didn't suppose to think it was true. Well maybe I figured, he was just too humble to say he's this but in reality he is more than what he's saying so I'll be surprised by the time I see him...


Don't facepalm on me Mr. Renaissance guy, I know you're guilty of it too.  Believing on things that is more pleasing than reality.

You thought you would look grand running naked in the street but here you are... exposing what you think was grand was actually a shameful display, for everyone to see. Forever.

Big tsk tsk tsk.  I mean small... Well. Whatever.

What I mean to say is... We are all guilty of it.

And to make it more interesting is we somehow cling more to the made-up thoughts.

I don't know why we, or why I do that.  Is it because the thought is more attractive than the reality?

I DON'T KNOW.  But maybe is probably the best answer.

So much for that, I sure would love to believe that I've learned so much from the past.  And what I've learned is that what I've been told as true, is true in some degree.

I know it's a no-brainer, but hey, sometimes we fail to see the obvious.

Publisher: Shy - Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

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From Mark Twain to Spiderman.


Doesn't that just send shivers down your spinal column?

And then.  And then.  You give a big sigh, and say... That. Is. So. True.   And drift in this trance of thoughts and possibilities and momentary regret of the past but with a spring of excitement for that which is to come.  And then, you feel good for awhile there, and you either plan things out and commit yourself to life changing  plans you've set out for yourself or go racing back in your usual life like you haven't read this quote.  Like Ever.

It makes a lot of sense really because with whatever we do, no matter how wrong or how right it was, it always gives us something, either in the form of memories which could lift us up or bring us down but will in eventually lift us up after having realized the lesson from it.

I agree with Mark Twain that we should not hesitate to explore the world in you and around you.  And the thought is indeed empowering.

But I guess I wanted to push along with that thought is another thought coming from Spiderman.  Yes.  You heard me right.  From a dead man (bless his soul) to a fictional character here.  But what spidey says is right, that with great freedom comes great responsibility.

Mark is implying, go wild and have fun. Meet new people.  In lay man's term, go make out with potential partners.

 But spiderman is saying, but be safe.

Mark is saying, go explore places and go backpacking across countries.

Spiderman:  But be sure to manage your money well.

Don't go crossing countries and spending much that you end up not able to come home and be left stranded in a foreign land.

There is a thin line separating brilliance to insanity, between courage and stupidity, and I can't tell you how many times I've crossed that line in my life, crossing it and staying there for quite a long time.

Like many people, we know it all along but are stubborn or in denial to even pay attention and take precautions seriously.

You can't just do things for the heck of it, and if so, just be prepared to take the risk of getting hurt, acquiring a deadly disease or dying.

You can't just say...

"Yeah I had a rad time messing around with many people in different exotic country and now I have shingles.  But it was rad though.  I just have... shingles.  Its not too bad really.  The sound of it reminds me of Christmas.  

Shingle bells, shingle bells, shingle all the way."

I know you're not too glee to hear that.

And you would look confused too.

But that for me is rationalizing a mistake.

I mean, seriously people.

Nuff said.

Publisher: Shy - Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Monday, April 15, 2013

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Surviving the Zombie Run!


Yes. We just had our FIRST EVAH Zombie run.  And have you seen many video clips of that in America on Youtube?  I have seen a lot of them.  Those vids made me want to join the zombie havoc run that was held in our city, Davao!  For some reason, I have been seeing zombie run as ads in some random vids on Youtube.

Is this becoming a hype already?  I don't know.

If you haven't seen any vids of it, then you better check this video out.

I know. Total rad..

The obstacle was just like that in the military.

The zombies? Scary.

The one I went to was not as difficult and as varied as that shown in the vid clip.  It was held in a parking lot with mazes and obstacles which we had to pass through.  And in some random areas, there were zombies lurking and waiting for us.  Good thing though they were only limited in certain designated posts.

Yehey for us!

So, call time was 5:30am.

I came in earlier than my friend, walking down an eerie pathway knowing well that in less than an hour, I'll be scared as hell by some zombies who will chase the living daylights out of me.

Excited?  Of course!  Scared?  A bit.  But I was more excited and grateful really.

I expected to get scared that morning.  What's new?! I'm a known scaredy cat, but a "strong" one because even if I was scared, I was prepared to face them head on.  Yeah right! I was prepared to run away, run far far away from them. HAHAHAHA

So we got ourselves prepared.

I had my game face on.

Cute yeah? Thank you.
Running shoes all tied up tightly, already prepared for "heavy" sprinting.

Shoes laces tied down like a PRO! yeah! :P

So right before we started our race, I thought I made this huge huge mistake to assign my friend who just came to witness the run, to be our photographer.  I paid for her pass so she could follow us wherever.

You see the many flaws of my decision, and it is enumerated as follows.

First.  She couldn't run as fast as us.  The first marathon we joined, me and bel were sprinting ahead of her, and when we noticed that we couldn't see her behind us anymore, we decided to walk and talk.  She was able to catch up with us after what seemed like forever.
Second.  I knew well that she's as much of a scaredy cat as I am, well actually worse. Much worse. Alright. Worst.
Third.  Base on my past experience, she somehow couldn't take a decent shot of me.  Whenever she clicks on the cam, her hand shakes.  For some reason.

So I knew then, it was a big mistake... WHYYY??!!

We went in with parking lot, "the zombies lair", with the zombies awaiting for us.  Pleasantly surprised, my friend Ivy was already there outside the parking lot taking this SOLE picture of us running.

I am tempted to frame this. (sacrcasm)

When Bel and I were running, we couldn't see her anymore.  Surprise surprise.  So we were not expecting anymore pictures of us in action which would've been cool.

We didn't know that she did take some pics afterall.  Not of us but of the zombies.

A couple of zombies that is.

Yeah cosplayer zombie ready to grab you and eat your bones.

And this...

Wonderwoman zombie also in her sprinting shoes.  A pink one. How cute.

They may appear harmless but seriously, I was scared with some of them.  Some of them would come out screaming at you and race you down.  Some were huge clowns and I hated them.  Clowns in general.  Props to the young organizers really and the  young zombies too.  Yeah they're all young, which makes me feel quite old.  Ouch!

I was really happy it was over because the maze seemed endless.  When I thought it was over and I could  already see the mouth of the exit, the maze would direct us away from it.

You know the feeling that you're so close, yet sooo far.  Yep that was it.

So I got out of it having 2 flags left with me! YEEEEYYY.  I SURVIVED! 

We had outwitted and outplayed the zombies.  Woohhhooo...

I must say, it was tiring like I expected it to be.  I was scared.  All I wanted was the experience, before getting there.  But when I was there, all I wanted was to survive.  And I did!

So proud moment!

After walking away with our price, I checked on my camera only to see the 2 zombie shots Ivy tooked.   I knew very well that it took a lot of courage out of her just to take those shots.  Moreso when she told me that the wonderwoman zombie was trying to scare her, making hand gestures asking her to come over.  In response, she flashed her her Guest pass violently.  An act screaming, "see this?? I'm a goddamn visitor so don't scare me.... PLEASE! for the love of GOD!" (sobs sobs). I knew she was scared, and I was actually proud of her overcoming her fears slowly.

We all came out of it as WINNERS!  



Publisher: Shy - Monday, April 15, 2013
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