I've set this year to be a year of growth.
Growth in all aspect: financially, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. Like other people I started strong, and like so many others, dwindled along the way. When there's a lot of things to do, it's too easy to get lost in it; it's too easy to loose the determination, and it's too hard to sustain the fun.
So the first lesson of this year, never ever set yourself for defeat. At first, we get lofty with our goals, and we get impatient to get them so we squeeze them in an unrealistic time frame.
So no more 10 new years resolution for me. It will be cut down to 3 this time. I must say that what I have improved on for this year was socially. I hooked myself in a church and signed up for a discipleship group which I thank God for because the ladies there are just divine. We may not be able to see each other regularly as hope but the sisterhood is something that could potentially last forever.
Financially was not at all pleasant. I could not find the right job and I was not able to push myself to work hard on a job that I have grown very familiar with for the last 7 years. It was clear to me that it was time to move on or lie low. The thing that I am only waiting now is for that right opportunity to show up on my plate.
Physically had its highs and lows. I was able to do a physical challenge for a month, one where I may have pushed myself more than I've wanted too, moreso that I easily convinced myself that it wasn't for me. I've realized that it doesn't really make sense doing things that wasn't fun anymore. Sure at some point, I need to challenge myself. But then life will be throwing a lot of challenges on my way in the future, why not just have fun on things that I can have the option to have fun, and endure on things that life demands me to endure. So enough with all these physical challenges already and on to what I truly love, dancing.
Emotionally was a standoff. Sure there was growth on that area, but I had to go through some hard things that were necessary for me to learn what I have already known -- self love. I get lost in relationships, because it was one of my occupation whenever I don't feel well. Of course I still get to do things I need to do for myself, but when nothing much is happening, I find myself falling back on my relationship as a sort of an emotional cushion. And when it's not there to catch me or support me, I become a mess. So then I learned that the only emotional cushion that I need to fall on is God and me because I cannot rely on other people, and sometimes I cannot rely on myself, at least I have God to rely on. The pillar of my strength.
Socially was a bloom for me. I find myself growing in that church. I don't feel required to attend every Sunday, but when I do, I feel like I'm being welcomed with arms wide open, much like the story of the Prodigal child. I squander, I lick the earth, but whenever I sense that I need to 'go back', I am embraced; my attendance feels being celebrated and I think this is how a church should be. And so I would be coming back for more of it, and probably be active in a ministry.
Spiritually is pretty much connected with my social area. I did however dabble on the spiritual energy and meditation side as to cover much ground on my belief of spirituality. I got myself a group on law of attraction, some belief I was able to incorporate into my lifestyle, however some teachings become wooshoo-voodoo type that I feel I need to distance myself a bit. I'm looking forward for more growth in this area.
So there you are, a bit vague, but that's how I like it. My realizations would serve as a reminder, but I somehow understand that people have to go through things for them to really learn a lesson. So my advise is to be open for life and be okay if it isn't moving the way you wanted it too. Being still and waiting are spiritual. Life isn't supposed to be a rat race all the time, life is also the stillness.
Embrace every aspect of it.